Psst!

After all, I know better than to risk being stalked by admiring fans!

Nah, I'm kidding! Getting famous for writing a novel? First I'd need to actually write more than the prologue, and given my penchant for going off topic (case in point, you know), just finishing my book is so far away that I could travel the world, return home, have a cup of coffee... and still not be satisfied! It is what it is... you can't rush impromptu bursts of creativity.

BUT! I'll still give it my very best shot. After all,

million-to-one chances happen nine times out of ten

— Terry Pratchett [GNU]